Rynelle and I enjoyed tag-teaming together with David and Linda Mushegan on'The Long Haul Marriage"yesterday at Southlands. (both interview and message will be up at www.southlands.net by Tuesday.)
We've had numerous conversations with people, both married and single since then, who were impacted by what was said, and who were wrestling through how to respond to God's call to the noble covenant of marriage.
One couple we spoke to admitted their tendency to point out to each other where they were falling short in holding up 'their side of the bargain.'
We all have a tendency to do that. We are contractually wired. We are taught to be self-protective, and other-demanding.
Covenant turns it on it's head. It is other-protective and self-demanding.
It is based in Jesus' unconditional covenant of love with His Church,and I believe we are unable to fulfill it without His virtue.
So my encouragement to us all, is to try and avoid reading each other's script - looking over our husband's shoulder and saying, "The script says, 'lead by giving up your life for me.' Why are you being so selfish?" Or looking over your wife's shoulder and saying, "The script says, 'Be submissive.' Why are you being so willful?"
That just re-inforces a vicious cycle. The best way to introduce a virtuous cycle is to read our own script, repent for where we have not been to our spouse what Christ would want us to be, and pray that they in turn would do the same.
"Easier said that done," I hear you say. True story.
But let's read and act on our own script, and see what our gracious God will do.