A Guarded Heart or a Hard Heart? a quick self-test on emotional health during emotionally charged times

                     

                Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  Proverbs 4:23

                                                                                                                                                                      

If you have a beating heart, chances are your heart has taken a beating these last three months. In this age of outrage, divisiveness and social media trolling, we've all taken emotional hits from friends, family, church or work colleagues. Perhaps we've lashed out in retaliation and given as good as we've got?  Many relationships have been strained or even severed in these polarizing times. Cancel culture seems to be winning. Because of this, most of us feel emotionally raw, or worse, numb. Our emotional health is at severe risk during these emotionally charged days. 

I sat with a friend and mentor last night who had received particularly stinging critique from both ends of the political spectrum as he had tried to respond as a Christian leader to the COVID-19 crisis and the protests following the brutal death of George Floyd. From my point of view he had done so with great courage, empathy and wisdom but his critics didn't see it that way. While he spoke about a feeling of fatigue from the relentless waves of criticism, he was remarkably buoyant. In fact, while I had received less severe criticism than he, my heart was more raw than his. Perhaps it's because he had learned to guard his heart?  

I find the above Proverb so helpful in this regard. It compares the heart to a well that is fed by an under-ground spring. This is a metaphor that Jesus spoke of twice in the Gospel of John when he talked about the Holy Spirit. "If anyone believes in me it will be like a spring of living water welling up from his heart to eternal life." (John 4:14) John's commentary on this statement was that Jesus was referring to the Holy Spirit who would be given when Jesus ascended to the Father.  (John 7:39)

While the spring of the Holy Spirit is what imparts life to the heart of a believer, it is the believer who must take care of the well into which the spring flows. We must guard our hearts above all else, not allowing anyone to throw trash down the well so that the pure water gets bitter. Guarding our hearts is like putting a grill  or a grate over the top of a well. The difference between a guarded heart and a hard heart, for me, is that a hard heart has got an iron-clad lid over the well. Nothing can get chucked in, but neither can anyone draw any life out of it. A guarded heart doesn't allow any trash in, but allows life to be drawn out of it, and because it is guarded, the water is pure, not bitter. 

The Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians, "I pray that your love may abound in all knowledge and discernment." (Phil 4:11) That is as good a description of a guarded heart as I've heard: to love with discernment. In essence, I want to try and help us to discern whether we have unguarded hearts, hard hearts or guarded hearts. The more common terms for these heart postures may be co-dependence, independence and inter-dependence.

A. How do I know if I have an unguarded heart?  (Co-dependence)

• I experience massive joy from people's encouragement and massive despair from their criticism. 
• I will give of myself willingly but feel resentful if it is not met with praise or gratitude.
• I allow people's opinions of me, either positive or negative, to be the core shaper of my identity. 
• I apologize just to keep the peace even if I don't think I've done anything wrong. The main thing is that we can maintain our relationship.
• I am extremely vulnerable with my emotions to anyone who will listen.

 

B. How do I know if my heart has become hard? (Independence)

• I view encouragement with suspicion and am very defensive if people critique me. 
• I will only give of myself if there is something in it for me.
• I simply don't care what anyone says or thinks about me. God's opinion is the only one that matters.
• I never apologize or forgive.  That is a sign of weakness. If you wrong me you're dead to me.
• I will never be vulnerable with my emotions in case people judge me or take advantage of me

C. How do I know if I am guarding my heart in healthy ways? (Inter-dependence)

• I am able to receive encouragement with sobriety and criticism without plunging into despair
• I have found a way to give of myself without being overly dependent on gratitude or praise
• I am attentive to the ways in which people experience me, but I am shaped most profoundly by what God says about me.
• I am willing to say sorry if I have wronged people. If I cannot see that I have sinned but that you feel sinned against, I am still able to own the fact that I have hurt you. I will be slow to reconcile if there is not true repentance and forgiveness in a relationship. 
• I will be vulnerable with my emotions to trustworthy people who can help me to be more healthy.

More than ever now, we need the well of our hearts to be filled with  the Spirit so that thirsty people can draw on the life of God in this wilderness season. But for this to happen we need to guard our hearts, engaging in healthy inter-dependence rather than unhealthy co-dependence or independence. 

Which heart are you? 

 

A Vigilant Summer

You wouldn't normally associate vigilance with summer, would you? Summer is usually about  slowing down, resting up, and kicking back, which can be a much needed thing in our helter-skelter world. From a military point of view, summer is generally associated with, "At ease!" rather than, "Stand to Attention!" But I want to make an appeal for Christian vigilance within the slower rhythms of summer in order to avoid a spiritual summer slumber fest.

Our leadership team is nearing the end of a week of vigilant prayer through the night. (even though many are coming and going on vacation) We each took turns with a 3-hour shift to pray for the church, much like watchmen would stand guard for 3 hour shifts during Biblical times. Admittedly, not everyone prayed for the whole 3 hours, but every 3 hours someone was praying. It's been a great week of vigilant prayer.  The Lord has been near and He's spoken clearly.  

For me, 4 factors motivated this week of vigilant prayer, and while I don't expect everyone to be praying exactly like this, I want to explain why I believe God is calling us all to be especially vigilant this summer.  Being vigilant is not the same as   panic. Nor does it mean that we are on the defensive, expecting an attack. An army on the offensive  needs to be vigilant as they take enemy ground too.  Biblically, being vigilant refers to a state of spiritual wakefulness and watchfulness, particularly as it pertains to prayer, temptation, and mission. (Col 4:2)

So why a vigilant summer? 

First, we need to be vigilant because we're sending. We're about to send an intrepid team of 11 adults and 7 children to plant One Light Church in Chiang Rai, Thailand. Church planting is always a kind of stealth mission, as people go with the gospel to set up an outpost of the kingdom in foreign territory. But to go into a region that is largely untouched by the gospel, (94% Buddist, 0.7% Christian) is an against-all-odds spiritual battle. This requires serious spiritual fire cover so we wanted to give ourselves to that. The harvest is ripe, but there will be no harvest in Chiang Rai without a real fight, both by those going and by those sending. Let's be praying for Jesus' provision, protection and courage for the One Light team. And please join us at 133 for their send-off on Wednesday night 20th of July at 6:30pm.

Second, we need to be vigilant because we're birthing. Southlands is about to give birth for the 3rd time in 3 years! What a remarkable gift to be fruitful. However, as with physical child birth, the well-being of both baby and the mom are of vital importance. If the baby thrives(which I believe it will!) but the mother dies, that is a tragedy. Giving birth is a joy, but there is also real pain and real danger involved. You guys, Mom is having another baby! And just like any family needs to be on high alert when mom has a baby, so the Southlands family needs to be on high alert at this vulnerable and joyful time. Here is a helpful article from Ed Stetzer on what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-church.html. I realize that a summer season can scatter us, but I ask, particularly during a season of birthing, that when we are at home, we show up faithfully as a church to worship, witness, pray and serve. Let's take responsibility both for the health of the baby and the health of the mom.

Third, we need to be vigilant because of our cultural moment. Political uncertainty and ethical instability is causing understandable anxiety in our nation at this time. Irrespective of where we land politically, we need God's wisdom and courage at a time when the Church is facing huge pressure to compromise or panic with the erosion of our religious liberties. A very current example of this is Senate Bill SB1146, a bill that threatens to close Christian Colleges in California. (Article here by our very own Brett McCracken SB1146 tolerant-california-will-not-tolerate-christian-colleges/. ) Let's be praying and voting against this bill. We need the courage to protest without panicking, and to keep on with the job of making disciples. The Church has typically shone brightest in the darkest cultural moments as it has simply got on with the job.

Finally, we're to be freshly vigilant because of our enemy. (Ephesians 6:10) I've had numerous  people come to me highlighting battle/war/army imagery, and I have sat up to take notice. Our enemy the devil is disarmed by the cross, but he still prowls around like a roaring lion seeking to intimidate, deceive and tempt. Lions love to isolate their prey from the herd so that they can pounce. Don't allow your self to be isolated from Christian fellowship. Every one of us is a soldier in God's army, and we are an easy target in isolation. We cannot let our guard down, even during summer. We must remain vigilant, grounded in the Word, fighting with the prophetic, reliant on the Spirit, following our Captain Jesus, and falling into rank in His army, the Church. As the old hymn reminds us, "Onward Christian soldier, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before!"

Let's make this a vigilant summer and watch what our God will do.